This weekend was quite the adventure. And man, is that an overstatement. What follows is a play by play account of how I saw the events that transpired whilst in the armpit of the Midwest.
Day 1. We left the house at around 515 AM to make our train. Now, since I dyed my hair and cut my bangs and tried to load music on my phone, (all starting at around 1130 the night before)I had roughly 2 hours of sleep. Not a big deal. I have dealt with worse and plus there was a 5 hour train ride ahead, I was golden. We arrive in St. Louis after a pretty uneventful train excursion, hop in a cab and take the scenic route back to MoonRise Hotel. The cab driver drops us off across the street, literally without pulling over. Nice. We lug our shit out of the cab and I realize that the Mt Dew I had in my purse somehow created a three inch in diameter spot in the just to the left of the crotch of my jeans. Nice. So now it looks like I wet my pants due to the uber excitement awaiting me in the hotel. What excitement is that you ask? Oh let me tell you!!! Not only were there the worlds most comfortable beds, (triple sheeted!!! for those who have never heard of this, look into it. It's heavenly) but Marty was doing a trunk show for his jewelry line in our hotel, which was advertise right when we checked in, (see below)
Needless to say, I was not all too keen on walking into that looking like I had wet my pants, and so we went to the room to check it out, and give me an opportunity to blow dry the crotch of my pants. We had some laughs taking pictures (see below)
and I did the all important blow dry and we decided to take a walk and get something to eat. Upon first impression of the fair city, we realized that this was unlike any other place. It was desolate, yet big. We walked down the street and the ONLY place we came upon to eat at was a place called Pam's Chicago Style dogs. By this time we were famished so we went in. First thing I saw was this sign (see below)
Indeed, I am super special.
Any crap, we order our food, and sit down to eat. When finished, we hear something that made us both just about die. "Now I've, had, the time of my life...." instantly up and dancing. Assured that the rest of the trip was going to be super, we left to go say hello to my pretend celebrity rock star boyfriend. (BTW, my pants had by this time dried nicely. Although, due to later conversations with my pretend celebrity rockstar boyfriend, I am pretty sure he reads this and so the trouble I went through to dry my pants, almost seems in vain.) Now, since it really isn't any one's business what the actual conversation betwixt said pretend celebrity rockstar boyfriend consisted of, I will just leave it at he autographed my cd and found out he used to play tennis at Midtown Tennis Club and he has a huge hard on for Hulk Hogan (OK maybe not, but it's funny if you are either TK or MC) There was one moment however that made me wanna die, this little girl runs up and leaps into his arms, it was quite possibly the cutest thing I had ever seen. Awwww, too cute. Anyway, we wanted to leave because it was so warm and we didn't want to be psycho lurkers. I took a picture with him, and we split.
We leave the hotel and head over to Blueberry Hill to get tickets to the show. That was pretty uneventful, (the ticket buying, not the show) but we did notice that someone had been busy plastering all the street signs and electric poles with Lovehammers fliers. It was great! Then began our quest of a liqueur store. Guess what...NONE! We walked and walked and walked some more. We walked until we ended up far away and back again. We asked a couple on the street where the closest place was where we could by some beer. They told us nothing within walking distance. Now, I don't know if I am crazy, but wouldn't you think that there would be SOMETHING within a 3 mile radius that would sell a fucking bottle of wine or a six pack of Bud? Nope. Nothing. This was the first big fail of St. Louis. There were many many more.
(To Be Continued)
and now, for the MC love for the day. Notice how my face looks like I have a mild case of the uglies.
(see below)
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